Getting Unstuck Part 1
This is the first of a two part blog on getting unstuck. In this part, I explain my concept of being stuck and ways to move through it. In the second part, I talk about how your inner wisdom can help you navigate when feeling stuck arises. Because in life, stuck happens. And that can be a good thing!
Stuck Happens
Stuck. I have come to that feeling many times in my life. Who hasn’t? Life shifts and changes us constantly and we eventually end up in a different place than we once were. What does being stuck mean? Stuck is the place between realizing something in your life isn’t working like it used to and the movement to do something about it. We sit in that between place because it brings up resistance, fear, and uncertainty. Stuck may be unsettling to feel, but it’s more unsettling to have to do something about it.
There is a quote by Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” One could also equate that with being stuck. What happens when you feel stuck? Confusion, frustration, low to no motivation, like the world has control over you, and that life is happening to you rather than for you. I recently went through a major burn out with a job. I kept trying and trying to make things work, but because I was so drained, things only got worse. I felt like I was shrinking, my inner glass was empty, and I resorted to zoning out. I had hit a creative dead zone.
When I came to the realization that I had no more energy to give, there loomed the question of what to do next? That is a very daunting question because it asked me to step out of familiar and comfortable, (as uncomfortable as that may have been), into the unknown, (scary!!). When you reach the realization that you can’t do the same thing over and over to get a different result, you have to choose to do something entirely different. How do you do that?
Moving Through Stuck
It can be scary to even contemplate taking action when you feel stuck. Acknowledge that you are stuck and that it feels scary. Weigh out the cost of stepping out of your comfort zone into uncertainty and the cost if you continue to hit the snooze button. In my case with burn out, I had come to the realization that I would rather look into the fear of uncertainty than the growling jaws of a work situation gone bad. This helped me push through my resistance and begin figuring out my exit plan.
Even though I made that decision, I still had to deal with the voices in my head that wanted to keep me safe. I found the following approaches helped me move through the resistance that came up:
Find time to slow down and breathe more deeply. Pay attention to what you are feeling on a deeper level - in your gut - so you can observe the messages from the chattering voices in your mind.
Turn off your gadgets and go into nature. There is no better place to slow down and breathe than in the beauty and solace of nature. Take contemplative walks and observe what cues come to you. Does a bird alight on your path? Do you find a dying tree fascinating? What do these nature cues mean for you and how can they help you? The outer landscape will mirror your inner landscape.
Be open to cues that come. Pay attention not only in nature, but in your everyday life. If synchronicities show up, don’t immediately shrug them off as happenstance.
Begin to trust your inner wisdom and the universe. Being stuck begs you to go deeper within yourself. This may not be easy to do, but by identifying and letting the universe know what you want, you can work toward it. You also need to let go of your expectations of what it should look like. There are a range of possibilities that you may not be aware of and being stuck keeps you from seeing them.
Keep a journal. There is no better way to help you deal with your fear and those swirling voices in your head than to write the fears down on paper to process them.
Get guidance to help you move through. Friends, family, therapy, coaching, whatever helps you to process your fears, thoughts, plans, etc. I couldn’t have left my job without support. You simply cannot do it alone.
When you take the risk to let go of what makes you stuck, you begin to have different conversations. It allows you to ask questions that explore possibilities. You can stalk yourself to find out who you really want to be. As a Certified Life Coach, I have helped many clients navigate through difficult transitions that made them feel stuck - death of a loved one, leaving jobs, retiring, divorce, to name a few.
Click below for a free half hour Explore the Possibilities session to find out how I can guide your brave steps toward getting unstuck. Take your first step. Your inner wisdom will thank you!